Rock v Paper v Scissors
No idea where I found this, but it seemed fun to post.
I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap itself around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? In fact, screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of College Ruled paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat up anybody. Rock would tear that shit up in two seconds flat. When I play Rock-Paper-Scissors, I always choose rock. Then, when someone claims to have beaten me with paper, I can punch them with my already closed fist and say, “Oh, shit, sorry. I thought paper would protect you, asshole.”
